Kingsmills Massacre anniversary: Sole survivor of IRA atrocity Alan Black explains why he can no longer face annual memorial service
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On 5 January 1976, the IRA gunned down 10 Protestant textile workers on a lonely road in south Armagh in what the Historical Enquiries Team described as an act of "sectarian savagery".
Tomorrow at 10:45am a memorial service for the men, organised by victims group FAIR, will take place at the memorial wall built in their memory at the site of the atrocity, near the village of Kingsmills.
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Hide AdDespite being shot 18 times, Alan Black, then aged 32, was the sole survivor of the shooting.
"I don't go anymore," he said of the memorial service.
"It is just too much. It might be an age thing, I don't know. I just can't face it."
However he said his thoughts would "certainly" be with his former work colleagues on the anniversary.
On Wednesday this week he had a long conversation with a relative of one of those who was murdered.
"It is just a bad time of the year for all of us."
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Hide AdIt has been some years since he last attended a memorial service.
"I can't remember the last time. I know that it nearly killed me. It has been a long time. Normally on the anniversary I keep myself to myself.
"I don't want to face people. So I just stay in the house."
He is not impressed with the ongoing legacy inquest into the massacre.
"It is not an inquest at all. What was supposed to take five weeks is now six and a half years.
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Hide Ad"And every bit of information that we get, we have to drag it out of them."
He has been involved in a legal action - still not formally concluded - to force the inquest to name a key suspect, now deceased.
The coroner has argued that naming suspects could put their lives in danger.
The 10 men killed were John Bryans, Robert Chambers, Reginald Chapman, Walter Chapman, Robert Freeburn, Joseph Lemmon, John McConville, James McWhirter, Robert Samuel Walker and Kenneth Worton.